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New Year, same old stuff

January 4th, 2007 at 10:10 pm

New year, same old problems. Well, to be fair, the car was fixed prior to Jan 1, but since I charged it, it's being paid for in '07, so I guess that counts as being a problem in the new year! I had to replace some doohickey on my Saturn, to the tune of $400 plus $80 for a new belt. And I had to get it fixed, I needed the part to pass my IL vehical emisions test. That's an odesey in itself, but that's a blog entry for another day.

Also, DH has been racking up the CC again, all in all our CC bill will be $2700 or so. And none of that is Christmas, either, I paid cash for all the gifts (not that we spent much)! Plus DH said he has $500 on his little CC. So once AGAIN, all our income is going to pay bills, nothing extra for our debt or into savings. And DH didn't work any overtime last week OR this week, so we have no extra coming in there either. The OT was available, he just declined it. Not only that, but he is taking unpaid time of in another two weeks to go home to see his dieing grandmother. I don't begrudge him the trip AT ALL, I totally understand and encouraged him to go, but since he doesn't get paid for time off, that's less income well have this month to pay. At least the trip is cheap, I used airline miles to get the ticket for free and the car rental is only $88 for 4 days.

If you've read previous posts, all of this sounds familure. I keep saying I'll get a second job, and DH keeps saying he'll work more OT and stop spending, no need to get a second job. So I don't look for a job, then he's good for a month and goes right back to his old habits. Screw it. I'm looking for a job this weekend. All my pay will go towards paying down the debt, since we can only seem to live paycheck to paycheck on our SUBSTANTIAL income because DH is an idiot. At this point, I can't control his spending, so all I can do is increase our income. I'm not starting a fight over this. He wants to spend $500 on computer parts, fine. He wants to spend $85 on his train hobby, fine. He refuses to clean out his old bachelor storage unit and save us $100 a month in rent, fine. I can't control his actions, I can only control mine. While we have this debt I can't buy a new car (the Saturn generaly runs fine but it's 8 years old with over 100k miles on it, it can't last forever) and I'm hessitant to get pregnant, because babies are so expensive (from what I'm told, anyway!). I'll be 31 in May and I'm not getting any younger, if we are going to start a family, it needs to be soon. So if he's not going to help, I'll just do it myself!

GRRRRRR!!!! This is so frustrating!

6 Responses to “New Year, same old stuff”

  1. living_in_oz Says:

    Sorry to say, but it sounds like you already have a baby! I don't know what advice to give. If it were me, I'd take his cards away since he can't be responsible. Not everbody would agree with me on this, but I'd refuse to let the man put me into unneccisary debt!

  2. Ima saver Says:

    You need to get on the same page with your dh about finances.

  3. chimbleysweep Says:

    I agree with Ima. I understand your frustration and your desire to do it yourself, but that's only going to harbor resentment when you make changes and he doesn't.

    I think you guys should have a pow-wow. Does he want to start a family, too? Maybe try to discover the reason behind his unwillingness to change? I feel your pain! Good luck! I worked a second job for a while and it really helped but it was very straining being away from home for so long. I felt like I was working triple-duty!

  4. crazyliblady Says:

    I agree with the others. It sounds like you guys are on different pages when it comes to your finances. He wants to spend, spend, spend and you want to save and pay debt. Can you talk to him and (gently) explain why you want to pay off this debt and save money? If you can get him to understand the importance of that to you, maybe he will come around. Maybe he will still buy his toys, but buy them on ebay of half.com instead of from a store.

  5. tinapbeana Says:

    wow, you're married to my DH too! either that, or he has several clones floating around...

    DH and i both agreed to beon an allowance and it has helped tremendously. we can each blow it however we see fit, but once it's gone it's gone.

    i also put a wish-list on the fridge with three columns his, mine, and one for the house. i'm hoping since men are typically visual sorts, this type of reminder will get him thinking aout the fact that his $400 golf clubs could have bought and installed a dishwasher for our house...

  6. elgin526 Says:

    Oh, he knows my goals! To be fare, he's come a long way since I first met him about 3 years ago. And with the bathroom project underway, that should take care of him buying computer parts, he won't have time for that 'hobby'. The train thing I think is almost done, he should have the complete set soon (unless the train is going to be a mile long or somthing!) and he has sworn as soon as the weather gets warm in the spring he'll clean out the storage unit (and I'm holding him to that this time). So with luck it should get better and stay better. His days off have also changed, and the nights he now has off, he'll likely be forced to work overtime (so is that really a day off? Goofy company...), so that's guaranteed income right there.

    I'm making cuts in the grocery budget (it's way too high for two people, even though I shop sales), I'm hoping to try out Aldi's and see if it's as good as everyone claims. But I'm at the point where I can't cut much more out of the budget, it's either increase income or cut descretionary spending, and DH just can't stop ording crap from the internet! A big part of his problem is that A) he grew up poor and never got anything he wanted as a child and B) in his early 20's he had a job making over $100,000 a year. He got a chance to buy whatever he wanted whenever he felt like it, and make up for his poor childhood. He left that job and now makes less money (still good pay though) but I think he still has the habits from when he made more. Plus he still has the attitdue of "I work hard, I deserve it". And he does work VERY had and he does deserve it, the problem is we can't pay for it! Well, we can, just at the expense of debt reduction.

    I decided after last nights blog post that I'll give it another month. If at the end of January we have another high CC bill (from his overspending, unexpected expesses are differant), I'm giving him two choices. Either he hands over his CC, or I get a second job. I know him, he'd rather DIE than have his wife work two jobs just so he can buy whatever he wants, so he'll likely give over the card. If not, that's fine, I won't hold it against him (really, I'm not that kind of person) and I'll go and find that second job.

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